Thursday, March 27, 2014

The Seasons: Corporate Version

I've had WAY too much time to think about winter this year. In looking for additional ways to throw shade its way, I ended up giving it a personality. The rest of the seasons just wrote themselves.

Winter: Old Man Winter (OMW), the disgruntled, drag-everyone-down employee that just won't go away. Not relevant, not wanted, not respected but will not leave without a legacy. And no one will tell him to get the f*ck out because he's about to retire. You know... at one point, there was a good feeling about OMW, but he's simply burned too many bridges.

Spring!: The perky newbie, full of life and fresh ideas. The exclamation point is actually part of her name. Lots of energy, just trying to find her place. Sporadic glimpses of brilliance, social butterfly, speaks up in meetings only to get shot down by OMW. But, her energy, coupled with the fact people are rebelling against OMW means that *maybe* she'll get her shot, and he'll move his retirement up a few weeks.

Summer: The back-from-mat-leave, already-pregnant-again 30-something. Lacking sleep, lacking empathy, lacking any moral filter. If she's not having a hot flash, she's having a cold flash, sprinkled with random floods of unexpected crying fits. Nickname: Stormy.

Fall: Summer is about ready to go off on mat leave in a few weeks -- oops, her water broke. That was fast.

Winter: Oh, look...he's back on contract. *sigh*

No comments:

Post a Comment