Saturday, February 4, 2012

Rabbit vs. Dragon

I'll assume I'm like most people when it comes to horoscopes... I pick and choose as I see fit. If it's positive, I stand by it. If it's not-so-positive, well, it's only "entertainment" and holds no real weight. 

I'm a Rabbit and this is the year of the Dragon. In Chinese culture these two animals, like in nature, do not get along. Long story short, it's going to be a tough year for rabbits... health wise and work wise. It was a big mistake to dismiss this as lore.

Current State
The health portion of my year has been in the sh*tter since Day 1. On December 29th, I woke up (5am) with what I thought was a severe back spasm. This appeared to be only a symptom of a bigger problem... it's was very likely some sort of slipped disc in my neck that was pinching a nerve between my shoulder and neck, and the (scalene?) muscle spasm'd severely in trying to protect it. That's what I can gather so far. We won't know for sure until I'm off the waiting list to get on a waiting list(!) for an MRI. The CT scan and ultrasound were inconclusive, of course.

In the meantime, I'm keeping the Brooklin Natural Health Clinic in business with acupuncture, chiropractor visits and extraordinarily painful massages. 

After five-weeks of icing, cracking, cranking, pins, and pressure points, the strength in my left arm is at about 20% of what it was prior to this incident. The thumb on my left hand is still tingling, and the pain in my arm is constant. It's not excruciating any more, though, so (tingling) thumbs up! Considering the chiropractor told me that my body was in a state of shock when I first arrived on the scene, I guess this is progress. 

I'm about four pills away from a full-blown Percocet addiction -- if my benefits plan wasn't strained before, let's see how it handles a rehab claim. I won't get into the bodily side-effects of the pain killers, but on top of already dealing with the mental effects of constant pain and the winter blahs, the Percocet is acting like a depressant and doing wonders for my metabolism (read with 100% sarcasm). My family doctor thinks the pain will "probably" go away over time, but can't guarantee anything. I took that news well (read with 150% sarcasm).

I won't strain too hard to find an upside, because it hurts too much. But...

  • I can turn my head to the right now, so I pose only a mild driving threat.
  • I have zero guilt for failing epically my "healthy meals only/gym three days-a-week" New Year's resolution.
  • And... I guess... I will never take my health for granted again. When I see Mom's hoisting their kids in the air without shedding a tear, gritting their teeth and wincing in severe pain, I remember the good old days. I hope to see them again.

Future State?

P.S. If any of my brilliant cousins are reading this, after you've finished curing cancer, finding the next global energy source, and touring the world with Shumka, if you could cook up a some sort of pill/shot that can fix this issue ASAP that'd be great. I know it proabably took me 20 years of poor posture, bad sleeping habits and general complacency about my health to get me here, but I'm simply not getting better fast enough for my liking. You'll put the entire physio/chiropractic discipline out of business, but it's not real medicine anyway... right? :) Consider this my application for guinea pig.