Giving Thanks...

I'd just like to thank Reitman's for making elastic waistband pants, but not calling them that, so it's socially acceptable to not only wear them to work, but talk about them when you're there.

Elimination

Although I haven't heard back from my doctor with regards to the gal bladder issue, I decided to pre-emptively renew my relationship with a naturopath.

Initial consult complete, she suggested I start with an elimination diet -- basically cutting out anything that could cause sensitivities. For three weeks. Given how I'd been eating prior to the visit, it is basically a complete diet change. 'Out' is wheat/gluten, dairy/eggs, red meat. 'In' is fruit, veggies and whatever kind of bread substitute I can ravagely get my hands on. Right now it's rice cakes. If you've got stock in them, you're probably sittin' pretty. Think about retirement.

Oddly, it hasn't been as bad as I'd anticipated. The plan is comprehensive, and comes with a shopping list, meal plan and recipes. Haven't followed the plan, but did try one of the recipes (with a personal twist) and it's delicious! I now need to focus on breakfasts. I cannot eat yet another bag of trail mix for breakfast. Currently researching smoothie recipes.

I'm only one week in and this is my first official 'weekend', which is usually where things fall apart for me on conventional diets. Hopefully the Thanksgiving weekend (coming up) won't pose too much of an issue, either.

After 6 days, I feel fantastic! No weight loss, but lets just say everything is functioning a lot better. And because there is no caffeine allowed, I'm super tired at the end of the day and sleeping like a log.

I knew it all along, but truly we are what we eat. When I ate garbage, it's what I felt like. I'm re-looking at how I feed my family now, too.

Only good can come of this. :)

Shamed into a 'lifestyle change'

It appears I may have some galbladder issues.

Saw a doctor last week as I'd been feeling some tenderness on the right-hand side of my rib cage. Additionally, I'm feeling organs (or something) moving around in there. It's odd. Don't ask me to articulate it further, because I can't.

When I mentioned the issue, the first question the doctor asked was about my fatty food intake. Tail between my legs, I replied with someting like, "That could very well be part of the issue". Then mumbled through my April + May + June = Stress! speech.

Fast-foward a few days, a signifigant amount of tax-payer dollars already used up on blood tests, and I'm just about to use more for an ultrasound. Hop onto the table and the technician asks me what the issue is. Mentioned galbladder. Her first (judgy) question, "Could this be due to a high intake of fatty food?"

My 'inner-voice' reply: YES, I'M A CLEARLY A FAT PIG WITH NO WILL POWER AND AM SLOWLY EATING MYSELF TO DEATH.

My actual reply: That could very well be part of the issue. *mumble mumble* Stress... *mumble mumble* April, May, June.... *mumble* *sigh*

I get it, I'm the master of my own fate. I've made my saturated-fat bed and now I have to lie in it.

I walked out of there feeling nothing but shame and embarassment. (And truly wasteful for spending tax-payer dollars for something that could've, maybe, been avoided.) It's bad enough that I feel guilt with every bite of food I eat, but now my health is affected by it (I know, I know... duh).

What's going to be more embarassing is when I tell the doctor that, right now, it would be easier for me if he just opened me up and took out the offending organ vs. trying to make a lifestyle change.

Could I be shamed into making a lifestyle change? No doubt I need it. Perhaps this is catalyst. I should have the results in a week or so.


* For those in the know, a 'lifestyle change' is how Weight Watcher's refers to their eating plan. Who are we kidding... restricting calories to lose weight is the truest definition of 'diet'.

Eavesdroppings...

OK... this post may eventually be funnier than the Melinda Pudding & Dut-Wah post.

Eventually.

Now that Gaby and Colsen are communicating with each other, the stuff coming out of their mouths is priceless. Most of it is Gaby answering or guiding Colsen, who - let's be honest - is only truly understood by those who live with him and the cat.

The list will grow, but here's a start.

Gaby and Colsen are reading a 'search & find' book.
Colsen (pointing at something): "Dora, Dora!"
Gaby: "That's not Dora, Colsen. That's a cement truck."
(Because, of course you'd mistake a cement truck for Dora.)

We have a Peanut's Christmas book, with sound. Gaby enjoys singing the closing Christmas carol.
"Hark the herald angels sing
Glory to the new born king
Peace on earth and mercy mild
God and sinners franken-styled"

Not so much an eavesdrop as a funny conversation. Gaby and I walk into the kids' bathroom.
Mommy: "Ooh, it's stinky in this bathroom."
Gaby: "Oh, maybe Daddy used it."
*howls*

Power of Branding

Having been in the marketing profession for most of my working life, I have a decent working & academic knowledge of how powerful branding can be.

I was never more convinced of it, however, until my daughter (at 3 years of age) made a connection. And, I'm not talking about stuff she see's everyday... the Treehouse logo, the Disney castle, etc. I'm talking about making a connection between two things that she sees very rarely.

Sitting on our kitchen table was a napkin from Subway. The Subway logo is all over the napkin. So much so that the ink actually comes off when you use it. Gaby doesn't eat at Subway and has never been in a Subway. Her Daddy does, periodically... and had the night before, after she had gone to bed.

The next day, Gaby took one look at the napkin, pointed to it, and said, "Did Daddy eat there?"

May not mean much to the lay person, but she can't read. Her only recognition is colours and shapes. And, she made the connection between the colours/shapes on the napkin to a place where Daddy eats.

The realization of what had just occured literally stopped me dead in my tracks.

Now, I need a sub.

Melinda Pudding & Dut-Wahs

*Warning: Post likely contains content only I will find humourous*

Naturally, there's going to be a kid-speak post on a Mom blog. I'm surprised I haven't done it sooner. I think about it a lot, especially when I hear something precious come from the mouth of babes. I think, "I should write this down!" And then it's gone. Well, I'm going to start documenting it here. One post only, but I will update.

Melinda pudding. Gaby wasn't able to get her mouth around "vanilla" as a toddler, but she was very capable of saying "melinda", who was my midwife for both Gaby and Colsen. One of her favourite desserts is vanilla pudding, which was affectionately called "Melinda pudding" for at least a year. The other day she asked for "vanilla pudding", which was promptly corrected by Mom and Dad. It will forever be "Melinda pudding".

Dut-wah. Colsen's vocab is slowly progressing. There's a whole lot of talking going on, but not a lot of sense being made. His future as a politician is solid. His interests right now lie with all motorized and non-motorized vehicles, cat tails, kitchen utensils and not saying 'sorry'. Construction vehicles are of particular interest, but his little mouth just can't quite get it. Dump trucks (dut-wahs) are his first love, and just about any and every construction vehicle is identified as a 'dut-wah'. They're doing construction along the route to daycare, so it's a chorus of 'dut-wahs' all the way to and from school each morning. I will cry the day he starts properly saying 'dump truck'.

Roo / Ah-roo / Ah-doo: Colsen is fluent in Whoville speak. This is how he says thank-you.

Baschmoom: Vacuum, of course. :)

Rebib: Robot

Bao: Bottle

Hanta comin: Santa's coming. (He's my boy!)

Soupie: Smoothie

Piscies: Rice Krispies!

Downdairs: Down stairs

Day Two (+7) sans Diet Cola

Selective ignorance has kept me from reading up on aspartame and how the body processes it. I bit the bullet and read up on it a couple days ago. Bleh. Clearly it`s not the diet saviour I had hoped for. Anecdotally, I know it`s a carcinogen, which is never good, but I didn`t realize that the body will still store it as fat (that`s the abbreviated take-away from my reading).

Up until two days ago, I drank at least one can of Coke Zero daily for as long as I can remember. I know that`s not too extreme, but I have decided to attempt a couple weeks without having any at all, just to see how my body reacts.

So far I haven`t really missed it, which is surprising. I`m drinking a lot more water though, which may be helping.

Perhaps the lack of Diet Cola is the saviour I`m looking for.

Will update!!

** Update **

So, I'm now nine days without any cola - diet or regular. I don't miss it at all, surprisingly. I do have a cold, so that may have something to do with it. But, still... I can't remember the last time I didn't have some sort of daily carbonated beverage.

Other than not missing it, though, nothing much has changed.

It's all good, though, I'm going to keep it up. Can't hurt, right? :)

** Final Update - Aug 2nd **

Don't miss it at all. It's a non-issue. :)

The urge to create...

I'm not sure if it's my current obsession with Pinterest, or the utter lack of inspiration I get via my every-day, but I'm starting to feel the need to create something "arty". Strikes me every once in awhile and I'm feeling the itch.

Here are a couple some of the things I think I could do in a reasonable amount of time with a minimal budget and very little destruction to my surroundings. I think I might actually use them, as well.

1. Place a stencil over a coloured shirt.
2. Spray with bleach.

1. Make a collage.
2. Stencil on top.
3. Paint white around the stencil.

We'll see. Thinking about it is easy. Doing it is a whole other department of effort, and I'm not sure if it's open for business yet. :)

Kettlecorn

*whine alert*


Having one of those months where everything is going wrong. Relationships I thought were awesome are actually not. Losing the eye-rolling, seemingly never-ending, weight battle -- badly. Disappointment abound in a number of people who I held in high-regard for quite some time. Feeling like life is moving way too fast and I'm wasting my time working. I miss my kids and wish I could be home with them. When do see them, I'm exhausted and so are they. Trouble keeping up with all housework. And, experiencing a very, very heavy heart about everything going on in the world right now.


Probably pretty typical for a lot of people, but the aggregate is really weighing me down. Very little motivation to do anything. Except eat kettlecorn. Bags of it. Non-stop.


I'm looking forward to reading this post in a month and making fun of myself for it.


*fingers crossed*


Edit: National Post ran a Worthy 30 feature in Saturday's paper, showcasing the top 30 women in Toronto. They ask silly questions meant to give insight into personality... dinner guests, ultimate vacation, guilty pleasure, etc. I was vindicated by the first woman profiled. Her guilty pleasure? Kettlecorn. *high-fives Justine* 

Rabbit vs. Dragon

I'll assume I'm like most people when it comes to horoscopes... I pick and choose as I see fit. If it's positive, I stand by it. If it's not-so-positive, well, it's only "entertainment" and holds no real weight. 


I'm a Rabbit and this is the year of the Dragon. In Chinese culture these two animals, like in nature, do not get along. Long story short, it's going to be a tough year for rabbits... health wise and work wise. It was a big mistake to dismiss this as lore.

Current State

The health portion of my year has been in the sh*tter since Day 1. On December 29th, I woke up (5am) with what I thought was a severe back spasm. This appeared to be only a symptom of a bigger problem... it's was very likely some sort of slipped disc in my neck that was pinching a nerve between my shoulder and neck, and the (scalene?) muscle spasm'd severely in trying to protect it. That's what I can gather so far. We won't know for sure until I'm off the waiting list to get on a waiting list(!) for an MRI. The CT scan and ultrasound were inconclusive, of course.




In the meantime, I'm keeping the Brooklin Natural Health Clinic in business with acupuncture, chiropractor visits and extraordinarily painful massages. 


After five-weeks of icing, cracking, cranking, pins, and pressure points, the strength in my left arm is at about 20% of what it was prior to this incident. The thumb on my left hand is still tingling, and the pain in my arm is constant. It's not excruciating any more, though, so (tingling) thumbs up! Considering the chiropractor told me that my body was in a state of shock when I first arrived on the scene, I guess this is progress. 


I'm about four pills away from a full-blown Percocet addiction -- if my benefits plan wasn't strained before, let's see how it handles a rehab claim. I won't get into the bodily side-effects of the pain killers, but on top of already dealing with the mental effects of constant pain and the winter blahs, the Percocet is acting like a depressant and doing wonders for my metabolism (read with 100% sarcasm). My family doctor thinks the pain will "probably" go away over time, but can't guarantee anything. I took that news well (read with 150% sarcasm).


I won't strain too hard to find an upside, because it hurts too much. But...

• I can turn my head to the right now, so I pose only a mild driving threat.
• I have zero guilt for failing epically my "healthy meals only/gym three days-a-week" New Year's resolution.
• And... I guess... I will never take my health for granted again. When I see Mom's hoisting their kids in the air without shedding a tear, gritting their teeth and wincing in severe pain, I remember the good old days. I hope to see them again.

Future State?

P.S. If any of my brilliant cousins are reading this, after you've finished curing cancer, finding the next global energy source, and touring the world with Shumka, if you could cook up a some sort of pill/shot that can fix this issue ASAP that'd be great. I know it proabably took me 20 years of poor posture, bad sleeping habits and general complacency about my health to get me here, but I'm simply not getting better fast enough for my liking. You'll put the entire physio/chiropractic discipline out of business, but it's not real medicine anyway... right? :) Consider this my application for guinea pig.